Miracle on 34th Street (1994)

9.2/10 stinky bananas

EXCELLENT Christmas movie. One of my favourites.

Before we dive into the many great qualities of the movie. I must dedicate the first portion of this review to Mr. Dylan McDermott. He steals the goddamn show. What a stallion. Dare I say, Dylan McDermott in Miracle on 34th Street is the best a man has ever looked in any movie ever. Unbelievably handsome. His hair is IMMACULATE and rocks a suit like he was born to wear one. Kudos to you, Dylan.

Anyway, the acting all around is great. Santa, great. The kid from Matilda, great. The prosecutor, great. The kid with the raspy voice, great. The judge, great. Everybody, great. No notes.

The courtroom scene, and the ending in general, is fantastic. Who would've thought Christmas and a courtroom would be a good mix? Not me.

I only have 2 problems with this movie. No. 1 - Why does Santa have such a short wick? I don't think Santa Clause should be instinctively violent. Relax, old man. No.2 - The mom is kind of a bitch. I mean, how could you possible reject Dylan McDermott? Is she blind? He's a fucking lawyer, and he loves your daughter. Jesus Christ, get a fucking grip lady. She doesn't deserve him.

If this movie doesn't make you feel all warm inside, then you have a cold dead heart. TSBRSoA club member. Very exclusive club!