Rocky 5

4.3/10 stinky bananas

Oh boy. The downfall of Rocky has begun.

Poorly written film. Plain and simple.

Why won't this lady die. Get out of Rocky's like, Adrian, you dumb bitch. Adrian is one of the worst characters in movie history. I'm not exaggerating. And there is WAAAYYY too much of her in this movie. WAY too much. Let's play a game. Who am I? Whine whine whine whine whine whine. Yup, you guessed it, I'm Adrian. Get this... her fucking brother loses all of Rocky's money, then she gets mad at Rocky for wanting to fight again to make the money back. Bitch, how the fuck do you expect to pay the bills, your dumbass brother lost all of our money. Sit back, shut the fuck up, and let Rock bail your ass out. Jesus Christ. Guys... the stupidity doesn't end there. Rocky listens to her, he doesn't fight, he becomes a boxing manager. And guess fucking what, she's still mad. Can you fucking believe that shit? She gets exactly what she wants and she is still fucking mad about it. Fuckin hell. She is UNBEARABLE.

You know who might be worse than Adrian? Her dipshit kid. Such a whiny bitch. This kid fucking sucks. He can't even defend himself against Kevin Connelly. Pathetic. The scene where he talks back to Rocky in front of company makes my blood boil. First of all, how dare you talk to Rock like that. Second of all, if I ever talked to my dad like that, he would've laid me out right then and there. This kid deserves one of those heavyweight right hooks right to the temple.

You know who might be worse than Adrian's dipshit kid? This Tommy Gun guy. What's his deal? This guy moves to Philly from Oklahoma and just expects Rocky to be his manager. He's literally never been a manager and he's choked that Rocky says no. I don't think Tommy Gun is the sharpest tool in the shed. Get this... after begging Rocky to be his manager, Rocky finally gives in, then he gets angry that Rocky is getting some shine. Hey jackass, don't ask the most popular boxer of all time to be your manager if you don't want to share the spotlight. Dumbass.

Last complaint. Why did Rocky let Mick's place go to shit? Asshole move if you ask me.

Last last complaint. No great montage. Every Rocky movie needs a great montage. It's a Rocky staple.

Anyway, the press conference after Tommy becomes champ is electric. The reporters are absolutely giving it to Tommy. So funny.

The street fight scene is a fever dream and I friggin love it. Pure unadulterated chaos. Great ending to an incredibly aggravating movie.

That's it. That's all I got. I left it all on the field. See ya.