Fast & Furious

3.5/10 stinky bananas

Not a good movie. Not good at all.

It’s boring. Boring villain. Boring story. Boring movie. It is missing alot of the things that make Fast and Furious movies so good.

In regards to this movie, I don’t have much professional in-depth analysis that this website’s readers have come accustomed too. But what I do got, is questions.

Is Vin Diesel Batman? Is he the greatest detective to ever live? He goes to the Letty crash site and is able to deduce (did I use this word right?) everything that happened from a few tire marks. Give me a break.

Why is Brian’s cop boss monitoring him for traffic violations? Like, who the fuck cares. Made no sense. What a dumb thing for the boss guy to care about. Idiot.

Why is Gal Gadot so incredibly horny for Vin Diesel? Don’t get me wrong, Vin Diesel isn’t ugly, but Jesus Christ why is this lady obsessed with him. Someone call the horny police, take her to jail and throw away the key (bad joke).

This movie wasn’t all bad. It had one scene that blew my fucking socks off. Vin Diesel drives his car and smashes the villain’s number 1 henchman like a piece of roadkill and the camera pans to Vin and he says, ”Pussy”. BOOM! That’s a movie version of a walk-off home run. Fucking unbelievable. Top 5 Fast and Furious movie moment. No doubt.

In the pantheon of Fast and Furious movies, this one is skippable. Watch it if you want, I don’t care.