A Very Jonas Christmas

4.5/10 stinky bananas

It's practically a Hallmark movie. It has a healthy mix of fun charming moments and some extraordinarily dumb scenes. It's like a bag of Chicago mix popcorn, but instead of the cheese and caramel mix, it's half cheese popcorn and half little popcorn-sized pieces of shit.

The Jonas Brothers were actually quite good in this movie. Pretty damn funny. Certainly an upgrade over the washed-up actors and soap opera stars that are typically in Hallmark movies.

The music is very good. "Coming Home This Christmas" is a damn good tune.

The story is all over the place. I like the "I'll Be Home for Christmas" concept. I think there is a good story to be written there, and at points they had something going, but they completely blew it with this Santa character. What's this guy's problem? Blowing up their plane and stealing their passports. I think that's a little much, eh Santa? Jesus Christ. Plus, that plane crash and the following wolf scene is 20 minutes of pure unadulterated piping hot garbage.

Having said that, the Home Alone: The Musical scene is hysterical. A cinematic masterpiece that only the beautiful minds of the Jonas Brothers could've created.

Anyway, it's not a Christmas movie that I will be revisiting unless my wife makes me. Do with that information what you will. See ya.