Spider-Man

8.7/10 stinky bananas

I forgot how good this movie is. It is the BEST movie of the original Spider-Man trilogy. Fight me.

There is lots to love about this movie, but before I get to that stuff, I am going to shit on it first.

Am I supposed to believe that Tobey is a high school student? Give me a fucking break. This guy is 40. Joe Manganiello (the bully) looks like he could be a linebacker for the Dolphins. This Zach Thomas looking motherfucker is old as shit. Not only are they old farts playing high school kids, they are horribly miscasted. James Franco stinks. Kirsten Dunst is such a poopy Mary Jane. And Tobey Maguire IS A BAD PETER PARKER. He is a horrific actor. Anybody that says otherwise is either lying or has no eyes in their head. People love him because he was the first to dawn the blue and red spandex and the movies that he is in are generally good. Nobody loves him because he does a good job playing the character. This is the truth, and I stand by it.

Deep breath.

This movie rules. Sam Raimi rattles off almost an hour and a half of great scenes back to back to back to back to back. So many great scenes to mention, but I’ll keep my list brief. Lets start with the Uncle Ben death scene. That scene hits so hard, even to this day. If that scene doesn’t make you a little misty-eyed then you have a cold dead heart. The upside down kiss scene… still hot. Green Goblin pretending to be an old lady in a fire is laugh out loud funny. The grand finale of the Green Goblin beating the absolute piss out of Spidey before eventually dying by his own flying skateboard is awesome.

Sam Raimi does an excellent job in directing two of the greatest characters in comic book movie history. The first being J.K. Simmons as J. Jonah Jameson. J.K. Simmons is a great actor who has played alot of great characters in alot of great movies, but he will forever be linked with J. Jonah Jameson. He is brilliant in this movie. He steals the show in every scene he is in. So fucking funny. The second great character is none other than Willem Dafoe’s Green Goblin. He is without a doubt the best villain of any Spider-Man movie. It is a perfect portrayal of a legendary character. My personal favourite scene of his, is when Norman Osborn is talking to the Green Goblin in the mirror. I love that shit. Very reminiscent of Gollum.

The original Spider-Man helped put comic book movies on the map in 2002 and it still holds up to this day 20 years later. Give it a rewatch, it’s worth your time.