Fast X

7.4/10 stinky bananas

Fast X is better than F9. We are moving in the right direction folks!

This is a fun movie plain and simple. The only way you don't have fun watching this movie is if you have a big dump in your pants.

Jason Momoa fits in perfectly as a Fast and Furious villain. He gets a bit too goofy at times, but I can't fault the franchise for trying something a little different with one of their villains.

The race scene is by far and away the best scene in the movie. It's vintage Fast and Furious. I loved every minute of it (other than the fact that Dom didn't win, but Dante cheated so it doesn't even count).

The fucking Rock is back baby (spoiler alert). What a post credit scene. I'm absolutely fired up for the next one! The Rock belongs in this franchise. The two alphas, Vin Diesel and Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, have put their egos aside to make banger Fast and Furious movies again. What a time to be alive!

Unfortunately it's not all rainbows and butterflies for Fast X. There is some real dogshit jammed in between all the good stuff. For example, what in God's name is Gal fucking Gadot doing back. How the fuck is she not dead? She got sucked into a fucking plane turbine. Is anybody truly dead in this franchise? Who the fuck wants her back anyway? She fucking stinks. Jesus Christ. Gal Gadot still owes me 20 bucks for the atrocity that is Wonder Woman 1984.

They could've easily cut 45 minutes out of this movie. Anything involving Charlize Theron and Brie Larson should've been left on the cutting room floor. They have absolutely no purpose in Fast X. Also, cut the shit with Dom's baby momma. Nobody cares about that lady. I don't need a 15 minute scene of Dom and her sister having a chat about the good old days. Fuck off with that.

What's with the kid getting outside of the car? No shit he's going to get nabbed by Jason Momoa. It's a really dumb scene. I'm sure they could've figured out another way for Dante to kidnap Dom's son. Lazy writing. P.S. Yes I know the Fast and Furious franchise isn't known for their fantastic writing, but still, they could've handled that better.

Dom's Mom is still alive? Where the fuck has she been? Every movie is about family, yet Dom has neglected his real family his whole fucking life. Stop bringing members of Dom's immediate family out of the woodwork! For fuck sake!

Holy shit that was a lot of writing. Bye.