Fast Five
- Nathan
- Jul 22, 2021
- 1 min read
8.9/10 stinky bananas
The best movie in the franchise. Fast Five fucks. This movie is the bastard son of The Italian Job and Ocean’s Eleven.
Who doesn’t love a good heist movie? Seriously who? Because if you don’t, you should be shot in the face.
I fucking love good heist movies. Assembling a team, making a plan, the whole nine yards. Throw in some fast cars and The Rock and you got me hook, line, and sinker.
Lots to love about this film, but I’ll keep it short because I’m tired.
Million dollar quarter mile scene. Love it.
Vin Diesel saying “that was a big mistake” after The Rock crushes his Charger is the most Fast and Furious thing in the history of the world. Love it. The subsequent (good word) Rock-Diesel fight is great. Love that too.
The vault scene is fantastic. The best part about it is that they murdered a thousand people in cold blood and they couldn’t give less of a shit.
The Rock double taps the bad guy. Very cool.
But by far the best part of the movie is when the police officer gets shit water blown up his ass. Fucking hilarious.
I got a couple of quick nitpicks. #1 They should’ve shown the race for the blue Porsche. #2 The movie drags a bit in the middle. That is all.
Easily the best movie in the franchise. I don’t care if you disagree because I know for a fact that you’re wrong and I’m right. I am the smartest movie man alive.