Apocalypse Now

2.3/10 stinky bananas

Why the fuck do people like this movie? 98% on rotten tomatoes?? Are you people on drugs??? Crack cocaine???? Meth????? Black tar heroin?????? Severely overrated movie.

Apocalypse Now is so fucking long and boring. Most of the crap that happens in this movie is pointless (French dinner scene) or nonsense (Marlon Brando monologues). All the characters sucked too. I don’t give a flying fuck that any of them died (spoilers).

The great Marlon Brando is in this movie. But you have to wait 2 and a half hours just to see him. Jesus Christ. Definitely didn’t need Marlon Brando for this crap.

The movie wasn’t all bad (hence the 2.3 stinky bananas it received). Here’s the highlight reel:

• Robert Duval’s character is by far the best part of the movie. His obsession with surfing is hilarious.

• The Martin Sheen narration is cool.

• The boat captain trying to take out Martin Sheen with the spear that impaled him is fantastic (spoiler).

Don’t waste 3 hours of your time watching this piece of shit. Credit to me for saving you time. I’m the best.