F9

5.9/10 stinky bananas

Not great. One of my least favourite Fast and Furious movies.

They missed the mark on this one. It wasn’t nearly as good as the last four installments.

Bad things: 1. Flashback scenes were trash and there were fifty of them. 2. Space scene was poopy. 3. Why in God’s name did they bring back the Tokyo Drift crew. They suck. 4. Cardi B scene makes me want to throw up. 5. Keep Han dead. The explanation for bringing him back sucked. And now we know for sure that no one is ever for sure dead in this franchise. Dumb. 6. STOP CATCHING PEOPLE WITH CARS. They did the ‘catching people with cars‘ gimmick one hundred times in this movie. There is lots of unbelievable stuff in this franchise, but I simply cannot wrap my brain around this. People are flying through the air a million miles an hour onto another moving car and there are no repercussions for their actions. Give me a fuckin break. I‘m fine with one or two people-car-catching scenes per Fast and Furious movie, but when you do it sixty times it makes me angry.

Good things: 1. The brother fight where they are smashing each other’s skulls through walls was great. 2. All scenes involving the magnets were awesome. The best of which being the scene where a car gets ripped through a building using magnets. Love it. 3. Francis Ngannou got blown to smithereens. Great cameo.

F9 is clearly missing something… The Rock. He needed to be in this. Ever since he’s been introduced to the franchise, he has been the best part of the franchise. If you plug The Rock in this movie, it’s an immediate plus 2 stinky bananas.

Despite me absolutely dragging this movie through the mud, it’s still entertaining and still worth a watch.